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NO! she shouted inside herself, sitting on the bed and massaging her temples.
All right, she admitted, your sex life hasn't been that good lately: a series of nice guys, really sweet and kind and considerate and gentle, maybe lacking a certain fire, but good.
So now, just for kicks, you're going to go to bed with someone you know nothing about? Going to risk rape, abuse, VD?
My Dear, risk AIDS? Is that what all of your rhetoric about male chauvinism, about the myth of machismo and how sex is sharing, is cooperation, comes to?
She tried to follow the old arguments playing now in her head, to hold back the dark tide of her dream with a teaspoon of reality, but it was no use.
There was a kind of fire in her now, a heavy feeling, an electricity that began just behind her navel and traveled down her thighs, moving up again to nestle between her legs, to smolder in her womb. It spread upwards as well, moving along her skin and setting it ablaze, turning her nipples into pointed rosettes and moving toward her center, until finally it touched the pit of her heart.
She stood, and moved toward the closet to dress. She told herself that she had no choice, that the dream was in control of her. It was easier than admitting that she wanted what the dream had to offer.
The bar had no name, other than BAR. She stood in front of its gaudy red neon and its signs proclaiming COORS and MILLER On Tap. The sole window was heavily curtained, and the door was a solid wood portal, keeping the world out and its patrons in.
She had asked the taxi to stop here after passing by countless other places, establishments more well-known and better furnished than this.
Trendy singles bars, dance clubs, places with live music or canned music or no music at all; a club downtown catering to orange-spike-haired aficionados of loud music and full-contact dancing; a bar full of ferns and imported beer and men and women in expensive sweaters and designer jeans, each with an edge of desperation in his or her eyes; a club with a long admittance line, and a muscular, well-groomed man at the door eyeing each potential entrant, judging their worthiness to enter.
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